PARENTING

     Being or trying to be a real parent is wonderful,frightful,remorseful and you never really know if you got a passing grade cause the quest never ends.

      I have made some duzzies of foul ups and mistakes. We bought a pinata one year, a after the kids beat the shit out of the thing no candy or prizes came out. Nobody told me you had to fill the Dam thing! I am sure the kids thought there father was a little dim witted after that. I rented a guitar one year and bought lessons. When Chris opened the thing I was expecting a wow Dad this is really cool. Instead the look on his face was wow Dad another empty pinata! I bought a soccer ball, baseball and a basketball  for Jeremy hoping to get him interested in sports. You guessed it I got that Dad you bought another empty pinata again look!  I am really stubborn though I keep trying! 

      One Easter Sue and I waited till the kids were bedded and asleep.  We hid THREE DOZEN eggs! Off to bed we went knowing that three little ones would be up before the sun. Well sure enough we awoke to three voices saying the Easter Bunny passed us by!  Oh no as I opened my eyes Three sets of blue eyes were saying!  Dad you bought another empty pinata! Sue looked at me and I at her and we were both thinking we hid THREE DOZEN. We stumbled down the stairs wiping the sleepers from our eyes. We  looked in all the places where we hid  THREE DOZEN eggs. WE could not find a one! We started a second less frantic and through egg search. We began to find very small pieces of colored shell. All the while our faithful Springer Spaniel Annie joined us with the THREE DOZEN egg search. Sue and I looked at each other and said Annie! At the same time as she passed a HUGE rotten egg gas cloud.

       The five of us started a Chinese fire drill Sue managed to open the patio door before she passed through it, the kids crashed through the door to the garage. I holding my breath managed to make it through the front door without passing out. Poor Annie she just stood there and looked at her rear end with that, Dad you bought another empty pinata look!

     WE finally returned to the house opened the windows and put Annie out. She sat on the patio for a while and then disappeared for a couple of hours. The grandparents showed with more eggs and we had a nice family Easter.

      Several weeks passed and Annie got even for missing family Easter. She presented us with Eight puppies, really cute little buggers. The weather was warming by then so we made a nest for the new family in the garage. Soon they were out of the nest and wondering the garage. Upon arriving home I would enter the garage to check on the  puppies. Gosh they sprung up like Jacks magic beans.  They soon began leaving bigger and bigger and bigger and more and more and more piles of pupie SHIT. All with a distinct perfume of rotten eggs, I don`t know how that was possible but I swear it is true. Annie would watch me scoop up the aromatic piles with a smiling look that said I brought home a full pinata! I am really stubborn though I keep trying.

      When Tammy started kindergarten Sue was working days and I was working swing shift. So Dad got to take Tammy to school. This was really a special time for us the trip to school with no boys just Dad and daughter would not trade it for a billion bucks we would talk and make up little things like Tammy, how come your sooooo! cute? Cause my Momma is cute! Tammy, how come your soooooo! tough? Cause I have two brothers! Tammy, how come your soooooo! smart? Cause my Daddy`s smart. A big part of the drive was stopping for Tammies snack. Always in a brown paper bag and inside we would put something wholesome! A twin pack of Twinkies or Hostess chocolate frosted cup cakes or my favorite Snow Balls. I know Tammy liked all the snacks cause usually she picked them! At school the teachers knew that Tammies Daddy brought her to school. I am sure every day when snack time came the teachers thought another empty pinata!  Even now with kids all grown up. I keep trying and buying more pinata`s. Would not want to spoil my repetation the pinata`s are still empty anybody can buy a full one!