Turning 65

Turning 65 should be a painless event,you start medicare,you get cake and recieve a gold watch. All I got thankfully was medicare and oh yes a helicopter ride to the hospital. Did I mention having a heart attack on Feburary fourth my birthday. Would much preffered the the cake!

Well they loaded my ass on the helicopter lifted off and I looked out the window felt the dam thing bobbing up and down as it defied gravity. I decided to close my eyes and cast my fate to the wind. This really got the attension of the flight nurse! She touched my neack to chech for hert beat and pumped up the blood pressure cuff. I heard her redirect the pilot to the closest hospital. I popped open my eyes for another birds eye view and decided that I was better off not seeing the sights. Soon we set down on the hospital roof and off to E.R. I went.

I really threw the doctors into a quandry when I told them I had no chest pain but my shoulders hurt so bad it felt like my arms were being pulled out of the sockets. Well they shot me full of Morphine and hooked me up to the EKG machine,the auto bloodpressue cup, snapped the oxygen clothes clip to my finger, stuck oxygen hose in my nose and drew enough blood to keep a vanpire happy!

About the time the Morphine kicked in Sue arrived. She dicided to drive my big truck so I would be comefortable on the ride home. Found out later she drove way too fast guess the good thing was if she did have an accident she most likely would have been safe. Very thankfull we did not have to share a hospital room. Soon after her arrival the Cardiologist arrived with the news that I had indeed had a heart attack. He dicided to transfere me to the Cardio unit and moniter me over nite.

After spending a nite zonked on Morphine the decided to shoot me full of blue dye and see what do do to me. They found a clot and sliced open my groin and popped in a stint and the shoulder pain vanished. The next day they released me and I have felt fine since.

The Big Count!

I think it was last September I sat for the Cencus exam, believe it or not I passed the dam thing with a grade of 86%. They called and asked if I would like to retake exam and try for a better grade. I passed the option between my ears remembered the stress of testing,the hundread mile round trip,and all of this without pay! I figured I might fail the second time around! I told them, I would stick with the eighty six.

Sometime in november they called to ask if i was still interested! I assured them I still wanted the job. About Christmas the cencus people called again. Again I assured them I still wanted to partisipate in the historic event. In Feburary they called And I was sure I was sure I was going to start counting. I called the number and again they asked if I was still interested in the job. I said yes! At this point I was sure they were going to hire me. The person on the line thanked me said they would keep me on the list!!!! Thanks I said other words drifted through my mind!!!!!!

The first sunday in May I was sitting on the thrown really doing the number two big time. When THEY called AGAIN wanting to know if I was still interested in doing the cencus. Good thing I was unable to reach it before answering machine picked up. Getting older and slower does have some advantages. I finished up washed my paws and decided to call back with a smile in my voice. They had jerked my line long enough and I was not going to be the one to quit. I punched in the phone number and after getting cut off I at last reached some poor new hire who read through the script in much need of practice! First question are you still interested in working for the 2010 cencus? Yes i replied my mind was thinking I would be seventy four for the 2020 count! I was sure the were going to keep me on the list till then maby I would pick up another ten points for tenacty. He kept asking questions, I kept replying yes!yes ! and more yes`s I was then asked to repeat the loyalty oath. At this point the newby told me that I was the first person he had hired! He seemed quite prud of himself!

Readers please note that I can`t find spell check so my spelling my becunique!

Eight days later on a monday I started cencus takers class only to find out that it was Enumerators class and I would be an Enumerator. Too make the fifteen of us feel better we found out we were replacements. Guess we were all borderline passers! Guess the guys that hit Normany beach the day after D day had the same feeings. We waded through the four days of training that took the first line troops five days. One fellow about my age disclosed to me that he was having trouble hearing. i told him I was hearing too. Next day he never showed up. Thousday afternoon we took a break prior to sitting for the FINAL. Another fellow my age confided to me that after taking the class he was sure he did not want to follow through. Thinking that he had exam jitters i explained that he could miss thirteen out of thirty and still pass. He seemed to relax and thanked me. I got another Eighty and assume others did better. My nervus friend failed but smiled at me on his way out off class.

Enumerating

Monday I drove to Debs Cafe to meet with my new Crew leader and assistant leader. We exchanged phone numbers talked over enumerating and made appointments to meet with our assistant crew leader who lives at Mckenzie Bridge, Crew leader lives in Oak ridge his area starts at the top of the pass on Hwy. 58 drops down to Springfield and up too the top of the pass on Hwy 126 Largest assignment area in the whole country most likely covers more area than the state of Connecitieck{i know that one is spelt incorrect but you can figure it out) It is almost ten at nite and i am going to publish and hope to add more to story later.

It is Wednesday evening thought I would tell you about my day out there enenunerating. I have a new area it`s along hwy 126 can`t be more specifif than that znd stay out of jail! Tuesday I was assigned this new area and I went out and founf the last address the farthesrt away so today I decided to start at the closest address. After passing it by three times I was able to sluth it out. You would think people would have there addresses in four foot numbers so emergency people can find them! Guess they never think they could have a heart attack or there home could catch fire. Gotta tell you these people are gonna die and there homes are gonna burn! So many are not marked that you have two find an address on either side and then pound on door and ask is this number twelve a street. Believe it or not they live there and they doon`t know what there address is. There mail goes to a post office box ! If they get mail.

So I found the first place it`s a home with a business on same property. I find a worker and he tells me owners are at office. I talked to him last week at his home we chat a while and he gives me business phone number. I climb bach into truck manouver my F 250 camper special around ,head back down driveway and smell dog shit! It`s a hudge fresh pie covering my whole left shoe on floor mat on brake pedal and spread to right shoe and gas pedal. Very aromatic in warm truck. So I stop in there driveway throw floor mat into truckk bed wipe doggie pie off shoes on there lawn. Don`t want to take there stuff home! The aroma has mellowed in truck so I call business phone, get secertary who transfers me to owner she confirmes that she indeed lives at address on enumerators questioneer.( here on to be called EQ) Says she will call me back in two minits on her blue tooth car phone. I wait worker comes down hill and tells me owner is havind a bad day says she will most likely not call me back as she is in a bad mood. Says I need to pull on through gate so he can close it. I tell him I am sorry I told her gate was open. He says he really did not need the two pounds of chewed but anyway.

Moving along to next address there is a log truck chewing up my rear bumper so I put the pedal to the metal drive two miles find a safe turn around, drive two miles bach pull into driveway gather up clip board with EQ notice of visit form and privacy statement. pound on door no answer clearly this is a vacation home or a vacation rental. I hang notice of visit form on door with my name and phone number. I think I have left twenty of these next person to call will be the first! It`s about noon my bladder is now screeming the morning coffee aided by blood pressure pill! Nearest potty is three miles away. By the time I reach it I will have peed my pants. I look climb through some brush find privacy and let it out. I get a real stream shooting from my hose and the cell phone rings! I shut down the streem not an easy thing too do at 64. It`s the lady from the doggie pie house she seems in pretty good mood after all apoligises for not calling back in two miuits. I climb back through the brush stowing my hose as I recite the privacy statement from memory supphosed to read it. If you don`t tell I won`t. I pick up clip board and go through the questions throughly but speedly. Thank her for helping me say goodby push end climb back through the bushes pull out hose and let the yellow stuff out. Climb out of bushes did I mention it was raining cats and dogs. So I scoop rainwater off truck to wash my hands hey you know most guys would not even bother. Looking over EQ`s I find next three addresses are all in a row. I gather up EQ stuff plop hat on hoist umbrella lock truck and head down street. As I approch second home lady comes out of third home I show her my Cencus ID card ash if this is address on EQ she says it is but she filled out form in Arizona thank her for that and ask her five questions because this is her summer home if she lived there she would have got ten questions. She also said that number two home was hers and it was also a vacation home so now i have a two fer and then she says first home is vacation home and that number four is vacant and has been for years now I am thinking WOW I got a four fer but she says I can`t use her for proxy for other two Dam! I thank her walk on to fourth home leave NV on door knowing it will never get read. Heading back down highway I pass next address drive back to turn around find a place too safely pull off three hundread feet past address gather up stuff flip out umbrella walk back to vacant lot with for sale sign write down realtor phone number and by the way no address on property. On way back to truck mother nature dicides I really need a bath but umbrella does its job untill an eighteen wheeler passes just under the speed of sound. Umbrella flops up and mother nature blesses me with her bounty. I truged back to the truck called it a day before soomething worse happened.

PARENTING

     Being or trying to be a real parent is wonderful,frightful,remorseful and you never really know if you got a passing grade cause the quest never ends.

      I have made some duzzies of foul ups and mistakes. We bought a pinata one year, a after the kids beat the shit out of the thing no candy or prizes came out. Nobody told me you had to fill the Dam thing! I am sure the kids thought there father was a little dim witted after that. I rented a guitar one year and bought lessons. When Chris opened the thing I was expecting a wow Dad this is really cool. Instead the look on his face was wow Dad another empty pinata! I bought a soccer ball, baseball and a basketball  for Jeremy hoping to get him interested in sports. You guessed it I got that Dad you bought another empty pinata again look!  I am really stubborn though I keep trying! 

      One Easter Sue and I waited till the kids were bedded and asleep.  We hid THREE DOZEN eggs! Off to bed we went knowing that three little ones would be up before the sun. Well sure enough we awoke to three voices saying the Easter Bunny passed us by!  Oh no as I opened my eyes Three sets of blue eyes were saying!  Dad you bought another empty pinata! Sue looked at me and I at her and we were both thinking we hid THREE DOZEN. We stumbled down the stairs wiping the sleepers from our eyes. We  looked in all the places where we hid  THREE DOZEN eggs. WE could not find a one! We started a second less frantic and through egg search. We began to find very small pieces of colored shell. All the while our faithful Springer Spaniel Annie joined us with the THREE DOZEN egg search. Sue and I looked at each other and said Annie! At the same time as she passed a HUGE rotten egg gas cloud.

       The five of us started a Chinese fire drill Sue managed to open the patio door before she passed through it, the kids crashed through the door to the garage. I holding my breath managed to make it through the front door without passing out. Poor Annie she just stood there and looked at her rear end with that, Dad you bought another empty pinata look!

     WE finally returned to the house opened the windows and put Annie out. She sat on the patio for a while and then disappeared for a couple of hours. The grandparents showed with more eggs and we had a nice family Easter.

      Several weeks passed and Annie got even for missing family Easter. She presented us with Eight puppies, really cute little buggers. The weather was warming by then so we made a nest for the new family in the garage. Soon they were out of the nest and wondering the garage. Upon arriving home I would enter the garage to check on the  puppies. Gosh they sprung up like Jacks magic beans.  They soon began leaving bigger and bigger and bigger and more and more and more piles of pupie SHIT. All with a distinct perfume of rotten eggs, I don`t know how that was possible but I swear it is true. Annie would watch me scoop up the aromatic piles with a smiling look that said I brought home a full pinata! I am really stubborn though I keep trying.

      When Tammy started kindergarten Sue was working days and I was working swing shift. So Dad got to take Tammy to school. This was really a special time for us the trip to school with no boys just Dad and daughter would not trade it for a billion bucks we would talk and make up little things like Tammy, how come your sooooo! cute? Cause my Momma is cute! Tammy, how come your soooooo! tough? Cause I have two brothers! Tammy, how come your soooooo! smart? Cause my Daddy`s smart. A big part of the drive was stopping for Tammies snack. Always in a brown paper bag and inside we would put something wholesome! A twin pack of Twinkies or Hostess chocolate frosted cup cakes or my favorite Snow Balls. I know Tammy liked all the snacks cause usually she picked them! At school the teachers knew that Tammies Daddy brought her to school. I am sure every day when snack time came the teachers thought another empty pinata!  Even now with kids all grown up. I keep trying and buying more pinata`s. Would not want to spoil my repetation the pinata`s are still empty anybody can buy a full one!

Potato Salad

    In my opinion! Potato salad should be a very simple thing.  Seems people put all kinds of stuff in and still call it potato salad. Come on people, filling potato salad with peas,celery well maybe a little celery leaf finely chopped but no mustard. No Miracle Whip. Please no Miracle Whip. Save that stuff for cole slaw. I will get into that at another time, Now back to Potato Salad.

    Here is the million dollar Bar B Q Potato Salad recipe. Wash twelve large Russet baking size potatoes. Do not peal them! Wipe the potato skins lavishly with REAL butter and wrap in Reynolds Wrap. Yes buy the good wrap that cheap store brand will not protect the potatoes and you will notice the difference! Lay the wrapped taters on the top shelf of your Bar B Q and fire it off. Set the flame to low and close the lid ,Bake for forty minutes or until taters  squeeze. If you can`t squeeze them they need more cooking. Now back to the kitchen. Put 13 eggs in a large pot, cover eggs with cold water and put on stove. Set burner to highest setting bring water to a boil reduce heat to next lowest setting and set timer for Ten minutes. When timer goes off turn off burner and let eggs sit for ten minutes. Get out cutting board and chopping knife along with a medium red onion. Slice off the root end and discard in trash OUTSIDE. That will tame the onion and your kitchen will not retain the sprit of the onion till you take out the trash. Now slice the onion in half put on half into a freezer zip bag anything else and your milk will taste like onion in the morning. Finely dice the remaining half and put it into a large Tupper wear bowl. Now dump the eggs into the sink and let cold water run into the pan pick up each egg and run it under cold water and crack it throughly and drop it into pan of cold water . Let the cold water run over the eggs as you peel them. Put the thirteen whole peeled eggs into the tupper wear bowl along with finely chopped red onion. Now gather up six very leafy celery stalks. Chop off the celery and stuff with pimento cheese put these aside. Now chop the celery leaf not too fine, you want to see a little leaf! Scoop celery leaf into bowl with whole eggs and chopped red onion burp bowl and put into frig. Clean up kitchen. Now it should be about time to check on them taters. Pop the lid and squeeze taters with a pot holder wrapped around tater( they should be hot potatoes by now) If they are squeezable turn off Bar Bee and remove taters and set out on counter to cool for 30 minutes. Now go to frig and get stuffed celery and a beer. Sit down put your feet up, pop the beer and eat the stuffed celery celery. After thirty minutes or when your nap is over put wrapped taters in frig.

     Next day! remove wrapped taters and burped bowl from frig along with a quart of Best Foods Real Mayonnaise. Don`t even think about miracle whip that stuff is for cole slaw. Don`t go cheap and buy store brand mayonnaise it just won`t taste the same. 

    Now unwrap all your taters. Next peel all of your russet Bar B Q beauties. Next remove two eggs from the bowl set them aside. Next chop the remanning eleven eggs into quarter inch squares. Put chopped eggs into bowl with chopped celery. Next slice and chop your taters into quarter inch squares, put taters into bowl with eggs. Now don`t get too carried away with measuring the quarter inch squares if you are in a hurry half inch squares will do. The ingredients will just blend better with quarter inch squares. Now get out a rubber spatula and empty THE WHOLE QUART of Best Foods real mayonnaise into your bowl of ingredients. Mix thoroughly you want the mayo to cover everything and everything to blend. When onion seems to be evenly distrubuted  you are done. Next remove one half cup of blended mixture,set aside. Next take spatula and smooth mixture flat. Now slice the last two eggs and decorate the top of your mixture with egg slices. Lightly sprinkle top of mixture with paprika. By now you are most likely wondering why I have been calling my creation a mixture and not Potato Salad. Well now you need to cover the bowl give it a burp and TOMORROW it will be Bar B Q Potato salad. For now you can eat the half cup of mixture and imagine what it will be tomorrow. LOve Dad 

 If you look to the left OK the hummingbird feeder there is a hummer ready to sip from it. This was last year march 17Th it looks like this year will be the same picture. Freezing level down to 500 feet and snow in our future. 

  Sure nice to know spring is just 30 days away. Hope to send early pictures of my latest project. A queen captain bed for my daughter and family. I started assembly yesterday and it looks pretty good if I do say so.

  Still no word from the census people guess I am too dam old for them also. Remember this and put money away in a credit union now. You will be sixty before you know it. I know it seems like forever in your future BUT IT IS NOT.

Bungee Jumping

   Thought                              someone would like to see the bridge construction. The other reason is to announce the I have attached the Social Security Bungee cords to my ankles and have jumped off into retirement! Well at least semi-retirement I can still make about 1100.00 per month and not loose benefits. So I can spend more time building bridges,taking grand children fishing and just being a kid again and doing what i want to do. After all those years working my conclusion is work SUCKS. I really don`t want to say yes sir maser anymore! At last! I am free I am free. Thank you president Roosevelt.

      I had hoped that the sunset photo would be at the end of this note guess i will figure out how to do that another day. Anyway it seems that floating down the Mckenzie is an appreciate picture for retirement. buy for now love you all.

Leisure Suits

   I believe this is the answer to this countries current Depression.  I remember how the fashion police banded together and shamed all of us guys till we sent our leisure suits to the goodwill. I had a navy blue leisure suit the matching shirt had red white and blue shushes it was comfy. For a lot of men it was the first time they had a cordinated outfit even if they still wore white tube-socks. For many men it was the first time they rushed to buy a new outfit in there entire life! Now that ten percent of us have lots of leisure time we need a new suit to uplift our spirits.Perhaps with a made in China label we could get a three pice suit for 59.99 at Walmart and 79.99 at JC Penny. If Obama would give each man a ten dollar economic stimulus rebate most americans should be able to budget A new Leisure suit out of our unemployment checks.Wow with twenty-million american men spending 59.99 or 79.99 that should get the economy rolling again.That is the very reason we need to bring this fashion statements back into our wardrobes. The average guy still has and wears clothes he wore twenty tears ago. This is not good for the economy, guys need to go out there and spend  get the money flowing. The other day I went with a friend to visit to a hundred year old friend of his. We go into his nursing home and Bill that is his name. Bill is waiting for us in a very nice brown suit with matching tie. Bill looked really dapper! On a shelf behind him is a picture of bill when he retired at sixty five. Guess what Bill was wearing the same Dam suit and tie! Don`t you think fashion designers could come up with something new and exciting for us men to wear. I mean really! mens clothes have not changed in over TWO HUNDRED years. So lets all call for the return of the leisure suit and get the economy rolling again. Maybe Obama could send each man a Ten dollar Leisure Suit gift certificate. I bet JC Penny would even be willing to sell Obama the gift certificates at half price. I know you ladies are being left out here but remember! you can go shopping with us. The gift certificate would only apply to men`s leisure suits. However once you were at JC Penny or Wallmart I bet hubby could be persuaded to let you buy something for bedroom wear.